Last revised: February 18, 2014

   Countryway TUESDAY Golf

"This Website is created for a great group of friendly golfers who play golf at Sunrise every Tuesday all year long."

February 18, 2014

TUESDAY Golfer's  FUN Album #6.


Rugged Outdoor Woman

(...seeking companionship)
 


During her physical examination, a doctor asked a retired woman about her physical activity level. The woman said she spent 3 days a week, every week in the outdoors.
 
"Well, yesterday afternoon was typical; I took a five hour walk about 7 miles through some pretty rough terrain. I waded along the edge of a lake. I pushed my way through 2 miles of brambles. I got sand in my shoes and my eyes. I barely avoided stepping on a snake. I climbed several rocky hills. I went to the bathroom behind some big trees. I ran away from an irate mother bear and then ran away from one angry alligator. The mental stress of it all left me shattered. At the end of it all I drank a Scotch and three glasses of wine.

Amazed by the story, the doctor said, "You must be one heck of an outdoor woman!"

"No," the woman replied, "I'm just a really, really crappy golfer".

 

SENIOR PERSONAL ADS
(Not necessarily a dating service...)

FOXY LADY FROM St. PETERSBURG:

Sexy, fashion-conscious blue-haired beauty, 80's, slim, 5'4' (used to be 5'6'), searching for sharp-looking, sharp-dressing companion. Matching white shoes and belt a plus.

TUESDAY MORNING GOLFER:

Very handsome male aged 60ish, seeking female companionship and a place to crash for 5 hours on Tuesdays near Countryway Golf Course.

QUALIFICATIONS:

Woman under the age of 50 (the further under... the better) who has a nice couch and Air Conditioned House within a mile or 2 of Countryway Golf Course.
Under 200 lbs. (the further under... the better)
  Height and weight balanced... ( i.e. 5' tall and 200 lbs. is not height and weight balanced.)
  Only need couch on Tuesdays between the hours of, let's say: 11:00 AM - 4:00 PM.
  I don't snore (well... not loudly, so I am told)    I don't expel gas inside
  I smoke... (but will go outside to do that...)

Depending on services provided (i.e. a light snack and perhaps other services) will earn you a $5.00 tip...cash money...

Picture above... I've been told I have a strong resemblance to James Colburn. (If  you are not old enough to know who that is, you are probably too young).

Call Steve Daddy @ 1-813-HOT-MALE -- no reasonable offer will be refused. (However... a brief Face-to-Face interview will be required...)
 

WINNING SMILE - BROKEN SOUND

Active grandmother with original teeth seeking a dedicated flosser to share rare steaks, corn on the cob and caramel candy.

Single Black Female (SBF)...

Seeks male companionship, ethnicity unimportant. I'm a svelte good-looking girl who LOVES to play. I love long walks in the woods, riding in your pickup truck, hunting, camping, and fishing trips, cozy winter nights lying by the fire.

Candlelight dinners will have me eating out of your hand. I'll be at the front door when you get home from work, wearing only what nature gave me. Kiss me and I'm yours. Call xxx-xxxx and ask for Daisy."

(Callers found themselves talking to the local Humane Society about an eight-week-old black Lab.)


Chocolate & Wine

Just looking for someone who enjoys chocolate and wine, barbecues, tailgates, movies and laughs at my jokes.


SERENITY NOW!

I am into solitude, long walks, sunrises, sunsets over the Gulf of Mexico, Tampa Bay Rays, yoga and meditation. If you are the silent type, let's get together, take our hearing aids out and enjoy quiet times.


LONG-TERM COMMITMENT

Recent widow who has just buried fourth husband, and am looking for someone to round out a six-unit plot. Dizziness, fainting, shortness of breath -- not a problem.



   



SCOTLAND
- Pat Donelly played golf and on the first tee at the Old Course, he slices his tee shot out of bounds.       

As he re-tees, he turns to his and says, "What do you call a mulligan in Scotland? His Caddy replies, We call it hitting 3."

HEAVEN - Johnnyboy Crippin slices into the woods. When he finds is ball, he sees a small opening through the trees where he can still reach the green. He tries the risky shot, but the ball hits a branch, screams back at his head and kills him.   

When he arrives at the Pearly Gates, St. Peter sees that Crippin is still dressed in his golf clothes and asks, "Are you a good golfer?"  Crippin replies, "Got here in two, didn't I?"


HALLOWEEN! - 2011

"Hole-In-Juan" -- (One-of-a-kind Costume/Golfer)

     

Gold teeth, Gold shoes, Gold belt, Misc. Gold jewelry - "What a guy!"

Steve and starter Bill Flood       |     Even a GOLD golf ball, and Driver


   

Steve requesting Larry to share his cart...

     


 

HALLOWEEN! - 2010
   

Last Year it was "Pumpkin Head 'Bob'"  -- This year it's "Darth Gator 'Steve'"
(or was that Don Imus under that mask?)

DARTH 'GATOR' Invades Golf Course!

"Anyone want to challenge Darth today?"

     


"HELP! - I lost my left golf glove!" - (from Home Depot)

"No, you can't use this Starter Cart!"

              


"Joann, can I borrow your 'Gator' driver?"


"Who is this 'Unauthorized' Imitator?"

   

        


"Never a dull moment when Steve plays golf!"

 

     

"Even 'Gators' have to Go... - Darth included!"

"HAPPY HALLOWEEN from the Tuesday Morning Golfers!"
"Do we have FUN, or what?" - Guaranteed to never age...


New Golf Terms - (Definitions)

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