Last revised: May 03, 2013

   Countryway TUESDAY Golf

"This Website is created for a great group of friendly golfers who play golf at Sunrise every Tuesday all year long."

May 03, 2013

TUESDAY Golfer's  FUN Album #7.


Tuesday Golfer with No Enemies


All golfers should live so long as to be this kind of old man!

Toward the end of the Sunday service, the Minister asked, "How many of you have forgiven your enemies?

80% held up their hands.

The Minister then repeated his question. All responded this time, except one man, Walter Barnes, who attended church only when the weather was bad.

"Mr. Barnes, it's obviously not a good morning for golf. It's good to see you here today. Are you not willing to forgive your enemies?"

"I don't have any," he replied gruffly.

"Mr. Barnes, that is very unusual. "How old are you?"

"Ninety-eight," he replied. The congregation stood up and clapped their hands.

"Oh, Mr. Barnes, would you please come down in front and tell us all how a person can live ninety-eight years and not have an enemy in the world?"

The old golfer tottered down the aisle, stopped in front of the pulpit, turned around, faced the congregation, and said simply, "I outlived all them assholes" - and he calmly returned to his seat.


Randy's Boss Called Today:

He said: "Is everything OK at the office?"

Randy: "Yes, it's all under control. It's been a very busy day, I haven't stopped."

Boss: "Can you do me a favor?"

Randy: "Of course, what is it?"

Boss:  "Hurry up and take your shot, I'm in the foursome behind you."

Blonde in the Pro Shop:

A blonde walks into the Countryway Pro Shop, points to a golf club and asks
Keith the price. Keith looked to where she was pointing and stated the Sherlock
told him not to sell golf equipment to blondes because they always seem to
return the items.

The blonde left the shop, very mad, and went into Tampa to a wig shop, where
she bought a brunette wig.

She returned to the Pro Shop and, pointing to the same club, asked Keith the
price.

Keith replied: "Sorry lady, the Sherlock does not sell golf equipment to blondes
because of the high return rate.

"How did you know that I am a blonde?" she asked.

Keith replied: "That's a golf umbrella, not a golf club."


HOLLYWOOD ACTOR Plays Tuesday Golf

(Private Eye Discovery)

Famous Tuesday Golfer Wins an Oscar & gets a Star

 

BEST ACTOR AWARD

Our own Señor Landrum ("El Birdie Bandito") celebrates 'Cinco de Mayo'

Cinco de Mayo Story:  

Due to the fact that it couldn't pay its debts, Mexico was invaded by France in the 1860s.

Emperor Napoleon III, nephew of Napoleon Bonaparte, wanted to acquire Mexico to prevent
America from getting stronger.

President Benito Juarez was the leader of Mexico at the time and supported the common man
and peasants.

Maximilian of Hapsburg was the French representative behind the invasion and longed to
become a French emperor in Mexico.

France invaded Mexico with over six thousand men at Puebla.

On May 5, 1862, the Mexicans, ill-equipped and undermanned, bravely fought off the French
at the "Batallia of Puebla" under the leadership of General Ignacio Zargoza Seguin and his
personal assistant
Señor Steve Landrum a  (nicknamed: "El Birdie Bandito") and protected
the capital city from invasion.

The celebration of Cinco de Mayo throughout Mexico and the United States today is in honor
of the brave men who defended their country against enormous odds.


Our own brave Tuesday Golfer and professional actor, Señor Steve Landrum was there and
on May 5 of every year, he retrieves his original uniform (it still fits) of that historic
"Batallia of Puebla" and proudly wears it as his symbol of remembrance of his extreme
bravery and personal sacrifice to commemorate the cause of freedom and democracy.

ALSO NOMINATED FOR SUPPORTING ROLES


Nominated for the 'ELF GANG'


Nominated for 'MEDICINE MEN'


Nominated for 'ROGER RABBIT'


Nominated for the 'GAY ELF'


Nominated for '2010 TARZAN'


Nominated for the 'BEER GUY!'


   

More actor nominations for 2011 "Cinco de Mayo"


Another Famous Celebrity

"Birthday Guy - Adrian!"

Check his Video:   http://sendables.jibjab.com/view/duU74Y3blENLeXZ1


Steve the Magician

"I'm going to be a famous magician," Steve said to his father,
                 "...because I can make a golf ball float."

Steve's father was very curious. "And how do you do that?" he asked.

"Well, it's very scientific. It requires some magic ingredients," Steve said.

"Oh, really," his father said. "And what are they?"

"Well, the golf ball, of course. And then two scoops of ice cream and some root beer."

SLOW GOLFERS

A Catholic priest, an Indian doctor, a rich Chinese businessman and a 'Snowbird' from Toronto were waiting at Countryway Golf Club one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers.

The 'Snowbird' from Toronto fumed: "What's with those jerks? We're waiting fifteen minutes between shots!"

The Indian doctor chimed in: "I don't know, but I've never seen such poor golf!"

The Chinese businessman called out: "Move it, time is money!"

The Catholic priest said: "Here comes Tally, let's have a word with him. Excuse me, sir!" said the priest, "What's wrong with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow aren't they?"

Tally replied: "Oh, yes. That's a group of blind fire fighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime."

The group fell silent for a moment. The Catholic priest said: "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight."

The Indian doctor said: "Good idea. I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist colleague and see if there's anything that he might be able to do for them."

The Chinese businessman replied: "I think I'll donate $50,000 to the fire fighters union in honor of these brave souls!"

The 'Snowbird' from Toronto said: "Why can't they play at night?"

###.


Guess who this mystery Tuesday Golfer might be!


"Nicole, your beer cups are too small!" -- "Never mind, I'll do the pitcher!"

BEST 'PICK-UP' LINE EVER - (For Tuesday Golfers)

A Tuesday Golfer, not in the best physical condition,
asked the trainer in the gym:

 "I want to impress that beautiful girl. Which machine should I use?"

The trainer replied...

"Use the ATM machine outside the gym!"

 


GOLF LESSONS From a 'Touring Pro'

Schedule your next lesson now!  Ask for 'Steve' @ (813) 555-1212


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