Last revised: May 03, 2013

   Countryway TUESDAY Golf

"This Website is created for a great group of friendly golfers who play golf at Sunrise every Tuesday all year long."

May 03, 2013

TUESDAY Golfer's  FUN Album #8.


WHY GOLF IS SO EASY...


"GOLF TRIP OF THE YEAR:  2013"

3rd ANNUAL BANDON DUNES SUMMER SOLSTICE - (June, 2013)

This special event is one of the coolest events of the year and golf's version of the Ironman. (72 holes in one day) This year a total of 66 players (including 3 women) started and finished four 18-hole wind-swept rounds (walking, of course) at Bandon Dunes, Oregon. First tee balls were struck at 5:15 AM; the last putt dropped at 9:15 PM.

http://www.bandondunesgolf.com/filebin/pdf/Summer_Solstice_2011.pdf

Why is this here on this Website? No one of our Tuesday Golfers will EVER play this golf marathon. Las Vegas is giving 100:1 odds that no Tuesday Golfer would be able to play all four distinct courses in one day. 1. Bandon Dunes, 2. Pacific Dunes, 3. Bandon Trails and 4. Old Macdonald. Especially walking.

                As Jack Nicholson would say:

  
"You Can't Handle it!"


"Save our Trees!"

"When ya gotta go, ya gotta go,
and... if you don't go, when ya gotta go,
When you do go, ya find out
ya already went!"


THE "Skins Game" GOLFER WHO GAVE UP SEX!

Last Thursday one golfer in Kowalski's 'Skins Game' was ahead by a couple of stokes..
"Boy, I'd give anything to sink this putt," the golfer mumbles to himself.

Just then, a stranger walks up beside him and whispers, "Would you be willing to give up one-fourth of your sex life?"

Thinking the man is crazy and his answer will be meaningless, the golfer also feels that maybe this is a good omen, so he says, "Sure," and sinks the putt.

Two holes later, he mumbles to himself again, "Gee, I sure would like to get an eagle on this one."

The same stranger is at his side again and whispers, "Would it be worth giving up another forth of your sex life?"

Shrugging, the golfer replies, "Okay..." and he makes an eagle.

On the final hole, the golfer needs another eagle to win. Without waiting for him to say anything, the stranger quickly moves to his side and says, "Would winning this match be worth giving up the rest of your sex life?"

"Definitely," the golfer replies, and makes the eagle.

As the golfer is walking back to the club house, the stranger walks alongside of him and says, "I haven't really been fair with you because you don't know who I am. I'm the Devil, and from this day forward you will have no sex life."

"Nice to meet you," the golfer replies, "I'm Father O'Malley."

###.

THE 'DIRTY' DOZEN

1. The only sure way to get a par is to leave a four-foot birdie putt two inches short of the hole.

2. If your driver is hot, your putter will be ice cold; if you can hit your irons, you will top your woods; if you are keeping your right elbow tucked in, you head will come up.

3. Progress in golf consists of two steps forward and ten miles backward.

4. It takes 17 holes to really get warmed up - 'especially at OUR age'.

5. No golfer ever swung too slowly -- No golfer ever played too fast.

6. One birdie is a hot streak - Steve.

7. Never try to keep more than 300 separate thoughts in your mind during your swing.

8. The ball always lands where the pin was yesterday - (Thanks to Ron Meints!).

9. You can hit a 2-acre fairway 10% of the time and a two inch branch 90% of the time.

10. No one with funny head covers ever broke par.

11. Your straightest iron shot of the day will be exactly one club short.

12. If you seem to be hitting shots straight on the driving range, it's probably because you're not aiming at anything.

###.

"DON'T TALK! -- Unless You
Can Improve the Silence..."

"I just found out that it's not good to talk about my
real estate adventures. Eighty percent of the people
don't care and the other twenty percent are glad
your having trouble."


Gospel according to St. Titleist

     


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