Last revised: May 03, 2013

   Countryway TUESDAY Golf

"This Website is created for a great group of friendly golfers who play golf at Sunrise every Tuesday all year long."

May 03, 2013

TUESDAY Golfer's  FUN Album #9.


New PGA Rule Changes for Seniors - (the 'RED Tees' guys)

The AARP has negotiated with the PGA to modify the Rules of Golf for seniors:

Rule 1.a.5 A ball sliced or hooked into the rough shall be lifted and placed on the Fairway at a point equal to the distance it carried or rolled into the Rough with no penalty. The senior should not be penalized for tall grass which ground keepers failed to mow.


Rule 2.d.6 (B) A ball hitting a tree shall be deemed not to have hit the tree. This is Simply bad luck and luck has no place in a scientific game. The senior Player must estimate the distance the ball would have traveled if it had Not hit the tree and play the ball from there.


Rule 3.B.3(G) There shall be no such thing as a lost ball. The missing ball is on or Near the course and will eventually be found and pocketed by someone Else, making it a stolen ball. The player is not to compound the felony by Charging himself or herself with a penalty.


Rule 4.c.7(h) If a putt passes over a hole without dropping, it is deemed to have Dropped. The law of gravity supersedes the Rules of Golf.


Rule 5. Putts that stop close enough to the cup that they could be blown in, may Be blown in. This does not apply to balls more than three inches from the Hole. No one wants to make a travesty of the game.


Rule 6.a.9(k) There is no penalty for so-called "out of bounds." If penny-pinching golf Course owners bought sufficient land, this would not occur.. The senior Golfer deserves an apology, not a penalty.


Rule 7..G.15(z) There is no penalty for a ball in a water hazard, as golf balls should Float. Senior golfers should not be penalized for manufacturers' Shortcomings.


Rule 8.k.9( S) Advertisements claim that golf scores can be improved by purchasing new Golf equipment. Since this is financially impractical for many senior Golfers, one-half stroke per hole may be subtracted for using old Equipment.

 


Professional Texas Golfer Story - (True story)

After playing in several PGA tournaments last  year, a professional golfer took a week off, and enjoyed his family in an exclusive gated community and his huge house in Texas.

A nice day, he decided to mow his lawn. A few minutes later a Mercedes drove up, and a woman rolled down her window and shouted: "Do you speak English?"

The professional golfer said yes, and she said what do you charge for mowing lawns?

His response: "I sleep with the lady of the house!" She quickly drove off.


Updated 2011 Rules of Bedroom Golf

1. Each player should furnish his own equipment for play.

2. The owner of the hole must approve play on a course.

3. Unlike outdoor golf, the object is to get the club in the hole and keep the balls out.

4. Course owners reserve the right to restrict club length to avoid damage to the hole.

5. For most effective play, the club should have a firm shaft. Course owners are permitted to check shaft stiffness before play begins.

6. The object of the game is to take as many strokes as necessary until the course owner is satisfied that play is completed. Failure to do so may result in being denied permission to play again.

7. It is considered bad form to begin playing the hole immediately upon arrival at the course. The experienced player will normally take time to admire the entire course, paying special attention to well-formed bunkers.

8. Players are cautioned not to mention other courses they have played or are currently playing to the owner of the course being played. Upset owners have been known to damage a players equipment for this reason.

9. Players are encouraged to bring rain gear for their own protection.

10. Players should not assume that the course is in shape to play at all times. Players may be embarrassed if they find the course temporarily under repair. Players are advised to be extremely tactful in this situation. More advanced players will find alternate means of play when this is the case.

11. Players should assume their match has been properly scheduled particularly when playing a new course for the 1st time. Previous players have been known to become irate if they discover someone else is playing what they considered a private course.

12. The owner of the course is responsible for the pruning of any bushes, which may reduce the visibility of the hole.

13. Players are strongly advised to obtain the course owner's permission before attempting to play the back nine.

14. Slow play is encouraged, however, players should be prepared to proceed at a quicker pace at the owners request.

15. It is considered an outstanding performance, time permitting, to play the same hole several times in one match.


Sexy, 'Seasoned' Senior Citizen Tuesday Golfer & Date

NOTE: Any resemblance to an actual Tuesday Golfer is strictly coincidental!

Tuesday Golfer (TG) and Sweet Lady (SL) had been going out with each other for a very long time. They enjoyed concerts, museums and movies and good restaurants and the theatre.

Urged by their friends and Countryway 'Beer Buddies', they decided it was finally time to get married.

Before the wedding, they went out to dinner in Tampa and had a long conversation regarding how their marriage might work.

They discussed finances, living arrangements, future travel arrangements and so on.

Finally, the old gentleman Tuesday Golfer decided it was time to broach the subject of their physical relationship.

"How do you feel about sex?" TG asked, rather tentatively.

"I would like it infrequently" SL replied.

TG sat very quietly for a few minutes, adjusted his glasses, leaned over towards her, and almost spilled her wine and whispered:  "Is that one word or two?"


Which 'Tuesday Golfer' Just Returned From Europe?

GOLF - ONLY IN EUROPE... (Aquitaine, France)

What is believed to be the first and only golf club for nudists opened as part of a nudist colony ("La Jenny") in Aquitaine, France.

Be sure and use their Driving Range!


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